Panic

Today, I ran.

It has been one month since my last run.  I have stretched, rested, used ice, rolled my foot with a golf ball, used my foam roller and slept with a goofy sock thingy.  I think, so far, it paid off.

Before I go on, let me be clear.  My heel spur did not just disappear.  It is still there, but I have hit a place where I feel like I can manage the pain, still run and still do all the PT.  If this is not the case, I will stop and reevaluate.

I started thinking about todays run days ago.  I kept wondering if I would feel any pain, would I be able to do it, what would I wear? I know silly, but my mind went there.

I decided early on that I would do my first runs back at the gym.  For a couple reasons, but mostly because if anything went wrong, I could just stop and not have to worry about how I would get home.

I got the kids off to school, had breakfast, got dressed and posted all over FB that I was on my way.  (Well that is what bloggers do, right?)

Heading out the door and ready to go!

Love this shirt!  The sub30 club is a group I belong to on FB.  We got these shirts for doing a virtual and all the money went to Wounded Warriors.  It is such a fun group of runners!

After I stretched, I hopped on a treadmill and panic struck.  I was afraid.  Afraid that I would start to run and everything would hurt. I was afraid that I wouldn't make it and would never run again.  Dramatic much?

I started the machine up and walked. I walked.  I didn't want to find out I couldn't do it.

My music was good, crowd was decent and I started to calm down.  I turned my speed up and I ran.  I started out slow with a goal of three miles.  Three miles that were dedicated to my I Run 4 buddy, Wyatt.

I was matched with Wyatt right after my marathon and up until today, I only ran six miles for him. I biked but that, to me, was not good enough.

It didn't take long for me to realize my endurance was shit! I wanted to stop. I started pleading with myself to just get to one mile. One freaking mile!  I wanted to cry. How did I make it 26.2 miles just six weeks ago?

I got to one mile and walked, again.  Not long this time, I pictured Wyatt and his smiling face and positive attitude.

I was running and I was feeling pretty good and then my mind went crazy again. Was this false hope? Was I going to hurt later and not be able to walk again? And why is it so damn hot in here?

And then, I was at 2.5 miles.  Ok, good. I feel good.  I am doing this!  Calm down, calm down, calm down!

I picked up the speed but there was no PR for this one.  I had walked too much.  I finished in 36:15.  Honestly, I think this is my slowest time since finishing the C25K program. I realized quickly though, that this run was not about any of that. I just needed to run and finish.  Stay strong and healthy, and until I am back to my normal level, just go at the pace that gets it done.

In fact, that is going to be my mantra for the year.  Go at the pace that gets it done.  Be happy with that. Have fun and enjoy the ride.  Run because you can and run for those who can't.  It's as simple as that.

Finished! And yes, it says Suck It Up Princess!

I am now showered and still feeling good.  Mornings were always tough with the PF and spur, so I guess we will know for sure tomorrow.  Although, my gut is telling me I will be ok.

So there we go. My first three miles of 2014.  Looking forward to seeing where I go from here.

If things continue to feel good, my first half of the year is March 9. I am going to sit down today and map out a plan that gets me there.  I will let you know more about that later.

Thanks everyone for the messages and kind words over the last several weeks.  I am looking forward to  running with my friends again and blogging more.

So, tell me how you are. How did you kick off the year? And what is the race you are training for?

Run Strong, Think Big! ~ Nicole